One of the things that can harm a relationship is if one or the other people involved criticizes or uses sarcasm to belittle the other. Though it may seem to be done in fun or jest, the impact, especially over a long period of time, can be devastating. Below are five things to think about regarding how criticism and sarcasm can destroy your relationship.
1 - It shows a lack of respect. When you criticize the person you love, it tells them that you don't truly respect them as a person. It also tells them that you don't believe they are capable of doing the things that you are criticizing them for, which is implying that they are stupid or lack common sense. The same things can be said for sarcasm, which is generally a veiled attempt to criticize.
2 - It makes the target feel small or stupid. Most people feel vulnerable when someone else criticizes things they've done. It makes them feel simple and incapable of doing things correctly. It also makes them not want to do things that they may be criticized for. Again, the same can be said for sarcasm.
3 - It can lead to fights. Both criticism and sarcasm can lead to tension between people in a relationship, which can lead to arguments. These types of arguments can leave deep wounds because the target of the harsh words will come to believe they are incapable of pleasing, are simple and dull and perhaps worst of all, not worthy of the person that is hurling such invectives. All of these things contribute to low self-esteem and a feeling of helplessness, which can lead to feelings of resentment. And resentment can lead to an irreversible loss of good feelings towards the person they love.
4 - It causes others to lose respect for you. If you criticize or use sarcasm against the person you love in front of other people, it causes them to lose respect for you. They'll see you as domineering and insensitive; or worse, as a bully.
Not everything labeled "relationship advice" is always what I would like to give, or you would like to hear. Today I am going to speak about knowing when to give up the fight.
I am not talking about walking out of a relationship, but simply about the time that you simply need to quit fighting certain annoying behaviors, actions or habits that you may come across.
First you have to understand that in some cases it really is fighting human nature and you will simply not win against that, in other cases it is a form of addiction that are not being admitted to, and in other circumstances it is just something that the person is not willing to give up. A character trade that you may not have seen in the beginning, or have chosen to overlook!
Now there are three things that no matter what I do advice you not to overlook, forgive or over gloss.
#1 Physical, Sexual or Mental Abuse!
I don't care what you have done, short of spreading your naked body out and teased the hell out of the person, just to scream rape after, hit the person first and expected them to just take it. There is never an excuse for Physical, Sexual or Mental Abuse. If you know of an Adult Person trying to molest, rape or pressure your/a child into sexual use, please get your head out of your ass, check that the situation is really what you think it is and then get that person where they belong. (Sorry the law says into Jail, personally I think 6 ft under.)
#2 Alcoholism or Drugs!
I know that for many of you this may not seem a deal breaker and many have the false believe that there will NEVER be any real carry over from such an abuse, if the person beats the habit, but sadly there is a carry over. Emotional unavailability is a byproduct that so many don't realize. If your Honey is a past user, doesn't use anymore, and you are willing to put up with this "coldness" at times then go for it. But if it is going on now, you may want to really consider the cost to your life and relationship first before continuing.
#3 Lies, constant cheating, Affairs!
Please notice that I mentioned all of these in Plural and put them into a specific category. We all will tell a lie from time to time, depending on how long you have been married cheating or an Affair may occur and strongly regretted after. Not that this makes it any less painful when it happens, but I am speaking of a constant and repeated cheating, Affairs and those that can't tell the truth because they live in lies.
Please realize that I am not counting Polygamy Relationships, Swingers Lifestyle or any other pre-agreed upon open relationships as cheating, but the good old behind your back extra relationship affairs and entertainment. I do however include emotional cheating into this as well. For more on what I mean by this you may wish to read my Article on AC... Click here! Talking and Flirting is not Cheating!
Now on to battles you may need to realize that you can not win. At this point it is your very own choice if you want to learn to put up with them, because you love the person deeply enough to deal with it, or move on with your life.
